Twinkie twinkie, little star…

Twinkies on a sleigh

A couple weeks ago, Hostess announced it would close down operations and stop production of Twinkies, Ho Hos, Ding Dongs, and the plethora of subversive-sounding, “tee hee hee”-inducing, apocalypse-proof overly processed sweets.  “Zombieland” memes and jokes ensued.  Supermarkets stocks were wiped out.  Ridiculous eBay listings were posted.  Freezers were packed (though… I thought there were so many preservatives and chemicals in these things they’d last for ten years anyway).  A ton of recipes for homemade Twinkies popped up.  I was never a huge Twinkie lover, but I figured I’d give it a shot =)

Homemade Twinkie ingredients
Homemade Twinkie ingredients

Originally, I wanted to make these for Thanksgiving but I just didn’t have enough time.  I don’t have cake pan molds that are Twinkie-sized nor do I have the time or interest or zen-like calmness right now to make a couple dozen of these things out of foil.  I DO, however, have these mini loaf pans that are bigger than regulation Twinkies (about 1.5 to 2 times the size), so I planned on making extra large sweets from scratch for a dinner party with some close friends.

Huge Twinkie trays
Huge Twinkie trays

I plugged in to listen to Mariah + Jimmy Fallon + The Roots + cute kids sing “All I Want for Christmas” while I Frankenstein’d a few recipes together and changed and added things here and there, then filled two trays with this lightened cake batter.  The first batch came out a LITTLE over than I intended, but still tasted fine.  The consistency of the second batch resembled the light sponginess of a Twinkie.  Both batches basically looked like mini loaves of pound cake  haha

I let those cool and whipped up frosting.  One recipe suggested a mix of shortening and margarine.  *Insert dry heaving and gagging sounds here*  I used real butter, coconut oil, coconut powder, powdered sugar, vanilla and milk and whipped the filling until it was super airy.  Vin said it was like a really good whipped cream.

Using a chopstick, I poked 3 holes in the bottom of one test loaf from the first batch and piped in the filling.  I was worried it was a little dry, but my lovely taste tester really liked the cake, and he suggested I put MORE filling in the cakes.  Always a brilliant idea… my husband is a genius!  I squeezed extra piping into the rest of the cakes until they were about to burst.  I packed 10 of these for the potluck and emailed everyone that I finally decided what to bring and just made super fat, huge “Twinkies.”  The response: “Kat, I love you even more than I did before!!!! –M”

Let’s hope my friends like them!

Twinkie
Twinkie

P.S. Stay tuned next weekend and the weekend after for more Christmas themed sugary sweets!  Just an FYI: my idea for Christmas is going to be SICK.

P.P.S.  The verdict is in!  The reaction from dinner was super positive!  I was worried they were a little dry and that ppl might not like the plain cream flavor, but I was told these were better than real Twinkies and everyone loved them  =) Yayyyy!!!

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